Warning: Could be lengthy and boring!!

You've been warned if you continue on from here!! Anyways, I have come to a conclusion this weekend, this is all mine and am not trying to impose my way of thinking on anyone just getting this out there as a way to for me to put down what I am thinking and let go of it. I have often felt bad about myself as a parent. I love being a mom, I love staying home with them, however, I watch other moms and see how they do things. I am not the most motivated, most energetic, most creative, wisest, most organized, I could go on but you get the idea.... I have often felt bad about these things. I reached the conclusion a while back that there isn't one way to do things and we are all just trying the best we know how. Now I was comfortable with that until this weekend as I was visiting with several moms about schedules and getting the babies to sleep through the night and so on and so forth. Well, I don't have a schedule, I mean I have a general idea when she sleeps the best, but that doesn't mean that I schedule my day around her, if I need to go I will, I feed her when she's hungry and let her sleep in the store or in the car when she needs too. As well as the other two, I know that after school is not a good time to take the 3 shopping or for a "quick trip to target" but I still do it anyways, not the smartest I admit but I still do it!! So, should I feel bad for all of this?No. Do I think those that have structure are crazy? No. This is my system that works for me. Also, this whole getting her to sleep all night. I have two other kids of whom I did different sleeping arrangements with. Mckenna is a great sleeper and so is Luke--I haven't messed them up too bad, in other areas I think I have, but not so much this one. As I sat feeding Mia this morning at midnight, then 3, then, 4 I realized that it just wasn't so bad waking up. Now, I like my sleep just as much, if not more than the next person, but I realized this just isn't that bad. This too shall pass and when it does will mean Mia is older and not my newborn like she already is not! So I will sacrifice my sleep if it means that I get to hold her a little longer. As I read all of this I realized it sounds a bit (well a lot) like I am throwing myself a pity party, rest assured that wasn't my intention. I question my parenting as I think most parents do. I want my kids to be high functioning adults and not too messed up by their mother. I just keep coming back to what my mom told me when Mckenna was a baby, which went a little something to the effect that these kids live despite us. I think that there is a lot of good advice out there but I don't think that any one source is right or wrong, I think it is about doing what you think is best, gathering facts and opinions is good, but ultimately I am the parent and have to take what I have learned and apply it to my family, that my friends (and family) is what the gift of parenting (to me at least) is all about. Just a side note though, some ideas are better than others, say beating your kids senseless or just plain neglecting them isn't a good idea no matter how correct you think they might be. And I guess if you think those are good techniques than I would recommend counseling-- just don't go and see the therapist that Britany Spears does!!!! I think that is enough of my rambling for today. I intended this to be just a way to get this off my mind and not a lecture to anyone, this is just what happens to be on my mind this fine Texas day. Also, I do love, very much, being a stay at home mom and wife, I can't imagine a more fulfilling job or career than this for me at my current stage in life!